Monday, May 2, 2011
Osama and possibly puppies
Okay, the dude is dead. Enough. Stop freaking out. I honestly don't think it's that big of a deal for the US beyond the fact that we carried out the mission sucessfully, and franky I'm tired of all the hype already. It's not good to dwell on death, destruction, hatred, and all those things. America is making an ass out of itself by celebrating this so much and I'm not going to add my voice to the din. This is why, Mr. Cheng, that I'm not going to carry out this writing excersize. Instead, if you really want me to write, I will gladly write 1000 words about puppies, which is the complete polar opposite.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
5 Limmericks
Rough draft I
There once was a boy from Nantucket
Who put all his geckos in a bucket
But then one day
They all fled away
And the boy screamed to the sky, "f**k it!"
Polished I
There once was a boy from Nantucket
Who put all of his frogs in a bucket
But one fateful day
They all hopped away
And the boy screamed to the sky, "f**k it!"
Rough draft II
There once was a girl from Greece
Who couldn't pay off her lease
She was booted to the street
Got a craving for meat
And cooked up a few geese.
Polished II
There once was a girl from Greece
Who couldn't quite pay off her lease
She was sent to the street
Got a craving for meat
And cooked up a whole flock of geese
Rough draft III
There once was a man from Malaysia
Who loved how fountains would spray ya
He played and splashed
In water he dashed
He's the happiest guy in Asia
Polished III
There is a teen dude from Malaysia
Who loves how the fountain would spray ya
He frolics and splashes
In water he dashes
He's the happiest guy in Asia
Rough draft IV
There was a fat mouse from Pune
Who threw all of his cheese away
"No wonder I'm distraught!"
"I almost got caught!"
"I'm going on a diet starting today!"
Polished IV
There was a fat mouse from Pune
Who threw all his cheese away
"No duh I'm distraught!"
"I almost got caught!"
"I'm going on a diet today!"
Rough draft V
There was an old shepherd from Prague
Who was guiding all of his sheep in fog
The ground was obscured
It was rather absurd
The way he tripped over a log
Polished V
There was an old herdsman from Prague
Who was guiding his sheep though dense fog
The ground was obscured
It was rather absurd
The way he tripped over a log
There once was a boy from Nantucket
Who put all his geckos in a bucket
But then one day
They all fled away
And the boy screamed to the sky, "f**k it!"
Polished I
There once was a boy from Nantucket
Who put all of his frogs in a bucket
But one fateful day
They all hopped away
And the boy screamed to the sky, "f**k it!"
Rough draft II
There once was a girl from Greece
Who couldn't pay off her lease
She was booted to the street
Got a craving for meat
And cooked up a few geese.
Polished II
There once was a girl from Greece
Who couldn't quite pay off her lease
She was sent to the street
Got a craving for meat
And cooked up a whole flock of geese
Rough draft III
There once was a man from Malaysia
Who loved how fountains would spray ya
He played and splashed
In water he dashed
He's the happiest guy in Asia
Polished III
There is a teen dude from Malaysia
Who loves how the fountain would spray ya
He frolics and splashes
In water he dashes
He's the happiest guy in Asia
Rough draft IV
There was a fat mouse from Pune
Who threw all of his cheese away
"No wonder I'm distraught!"
"I almost got caught!"
"I'm going on a diet starting today!"
Polished IV
There was a fat mouse from Pune
Who threw all his cheese away
"No duh I'm distraught!"
"I almost got caught!"
"I'm going on a diet today!"
Rough draft V
There was an old shepherd from Prague
Who was guiding all of his sheep in fog
The ground was obscured
It was rather absurd
The way he tripped over a log
Polished V
There was an old herdsman from Prague
Who was guiding his sheep though dense fog
The ground was obscured
It was rather absurd
The way he tripped over a log
Friday, March 11, 2011
Soundtrack to My Life
Feel it in my Bones by DJ Tiesto featuring Tegan and Sara
Association 1:
I take my heart out of my chest
I just don't need it anymore
Take my head out of the game
I just don't need it anymore
Most people don't know this but for most of fifth grade I was very sick. Malnutrition, strep, God-knows-what, and a new disease. I honestly don't remember much about it besides sitting on the couch, but now in my memory it just feels like a day. Every day was the same: I would force myself to eat, my mom would read to me while I lay on the couch, and I would sleep. I didn't feel angry or sad or depressed, I didn't feel anything. My mind, overwhelmed, had simply shut down. Apathy ruled my world for longer than I care to remember. I eventually recovered, though it was a very slow process, and these lines remind me of the feeling of apathy I had and how it's worse than pain.
Association 2:
Blow by blow
I didn't see it coming
Blow by blow
Sucker Punched
I missed a lot of school while sick and was unused to the high school life. Middle school was extremly easy, I was able to do all my work at school without really thinking about it, and actually having to study for tests was something new to me. Also, the math was challenging and I had to actually take notes and sometimes even read the book. All these new things coupled by my bad study habits from missing school really hit me hard my freshmen year. My grades plummeted fast and I really had no idea how to deal with grades below a B. I attempted the same meathod that worked when I was sick: wait it out. This, of course, didn't work and ripples of that first blow freshmen year are still affecting my school life today.
Association 3:
I feel you in my bones
You're knocking at my windows
You're slow to letting me go
And I know this feeling also
This feeling in my bones
My health is still very shakey. I get sick often, and small two or three day things and minor viruses hit me a lot harder than they do other people. Sometimes it takes me three weeks to recover from a simple cold and during those weeks I could be missing a day or two of school because the symptoms are so potent. I recognize when I'm getting sick and it feels like a dementor slowly creeping up on me. It's a feeling that I've learned to deal with but before it was really hard when I would get sick.
Holy cow, I just realized that this is really doom and gloomy. Seriously, it wasn't that bad, it sounds a lot worse than it actually was. Also, I really like this song even though it perfectly ties into all this illness crap. And it's not like I feel sad every time I listen to this song, I usually dance and sing along happily. It's a good song. You should listen to it right now.
Association 1:
I take my heart out of my chest
I just don't need it anymore
Take my head out of the game
I just don't need it anymore
Most people don't know this but for most of fifth grade I was very sick. Malnutrition, strep, God-knows-what, and a new disease. I honestly don't remember much about it besides sitting on the couch, but now in my memory it just feels like a day. Every day was the same: I would force myself to eat, my mom would read to me while I lay on the couch, and I would sleep. I didn't feel angry or sad or depressed, I didn't feel anything. My mind, overwhelmed, had simply shut down. Apathy ruled my world for longer than I care to remember. I eventually recovered, though it was a very slow process, and these lines remind me of the feeling of apathy I had and how it's worse than pain.
Association 2:
Blow by blow
I didn't see it coming
Blow by blow
Sucker Punched
I missed a lot of school while sick and was unused to the high school life. Middle school was extremly easy, I was able to do all my work at school without really thinking about it, and actually having to study for tests was something new to me. Also, the math was challenging and I had to actually take notes and sometimes even read the book. All these new things coupled by my bad study habits from missing school really hit me hard my freshmen year. My grades plummeted fast and I really had no idea how to deal with grades below a B. I attempted the same meathod that worked when I was sick: wait it out. This, of course, didn't work and ripples of that first blow freshmen year are still affecting my school life today.
Association 3:
I feel you in my bones
You're knocking at my windows
You're slow to letting me go
And I know this feeling also
This feeling in my bones
My health is still very shakey. I get sick often, and small two or three day things and minor viruses hit me a lot harder than they do other people. Sometimes it takes me three weeks to recover from a simple cold and during those weeks I could be missing a day or two of school because the symptoms are so potent. I recognize when I'm getting sick and it feels like a dementor slowly creeping up on me. It's a feeling that I've learned to deal with but before it was really hard when I would get sick.
Holy cow, I just realized that this is really doom and gloomy. Seriously, it wasn't that bad, it sounds a lot worse than it actually was. Also, I really like this song even though it perfectly ties into all this illness crap. And it's not like I feel sad every time I listen to this song, I usually dance and sing along happily. It's a good song. You should listen to it right now.
Wacky Friday: Secluded School Adventures
Whilst musing about where exactly to go since everyone in my group had been almost everywhere we stumbled upon an open door that we had never seen open before. We followed the pink welcome sign into what looked like an obscure basement hallway into the new copy center. Cement and ductwork were the only decorations and a whole forest of paper lined metal shelves. Dust hung in the sparse light as we wandered through this new room. A few teachers were in there making copies and they quickly shooed us out. This, I thought, contradicted the hot pink welcome sign quite fantasticly.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Attention Test
I'm actually fairly proud of myself because I saw the gorilla and I counted all 15 passes correctly. Creativity is always aided greatly by attention to detail, but if you focus on detail the whole time sometimes you miss something staring you in the face, like a gorilla.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Show and Tell
Presentation I: Anna
As I walked up to the front of the room I carefully undid the rubber band around my small fragile shells. The small Wentletraps, with a bit of the soft sweet Sanibel sand still in them, were hurriedly passed around the classroom as I explained the story of the fierce rivalry between my mom and me. I held the prize shell in my hand, afraid that if I pass it around it might break, and I looked at it for brief amounts of time before remembering that I should be looking up. For some reason, the swirled almost frosting-like shell attracted my eyes magnetically. Gesturing, I described how I had found the shell right where my mother was looking and acted out the tentativeness in my mind as I went for the snag. A smattering of applause followed me back to my seat.
Explanation I
Alliteration: "soft sweet Sanibel sand"
Metaphor: "magnetically"
Descriptive alternatives: instead of grab, "snag;" instead of a bit, "smattering."
Presentation II: Charlie
Charlie confidently but casually strode up to the front of the class. He was wearing his item: a Camel backpack that helped him through a very rough time. Unlike anyone else, he paced while talking about his experience while his hands flung about wildly gesticulating his nail-bitingly intense tale. When he got to the part about him slipping down a path and injuring his leg, he gave a small laugh before telling of his screw-up. His eyes squinted a bit as if he was remembering the feeling in his ankle as he lay injured a mile into the trail but still stood tall, cockily putting his thumbs underneath his backpack straps as if they were suspenders.
Explanation II
Descriptive adverbs: "cockily," "nail-bitingly"
Made-up word: "nail-bitingly"
Simile: "as if they were suspenders"
Presentation III: Bonet
"I'm shaking!" Bonet laughed a bit as she told me before going up to the stage. Despite her somewhat frazzled nerves and the sadness of her story she smiled at the audience and never looked down. Her two masks were tangled together as she held them and showed how you would wear them. Her face darkened as she explained how as a kid she would seek attention for being sick to the point where she would like about it. Her "The Girl Who Cried Sick" tale increased in sadness as she told, for most likely the first time, the whole story behind her medical history the past year. She explained with sadness in her voice and eyes how she had to lie to people about her ailments. Her words seemed to come out in a rush, like they were a burden she was lifting off of her heart.
Explanation III
Metaphor: "like they were a burden"
I'm not sure what to classify this under: "'The Girl Who Cried Sick' tale"
Descriptive phrases "words seemed to come out in a rush," "face darkened," "burden she was lifting"
As I walked up to the front of the room I carefully undid the rubber band around my small fragile shells. The small Wentletraps, with a bit of the soft sweet Sanibel sand still in them, were hurriedly passed around the classroom as I explained the story of the fierce rivalry between my mom and me. I held the prize shell in my hand, afraid that if I pass it around it might break, and I looked at it for brief amounts of time before remembering that I should be looking up. For some reason, the swirled almost frosting-like shell attracted my eyes magnetically. Gesturing, I described how I had found the shell right where my mother was looking and acted out the tentativeness in my mind as I went for the snag. A smattering of applause followed me back to my seat.
Alliteration: "soft sweet Sanibel sand"
Metaphor: "magnetically"
Descriptive alternatives: instead of grab, "snag;" instead of a bit, "smattering."
Presentation II: Charlie
Charlie confidently but casually strode up to the front of the class. He was wearing his item: a Camel backpack that helped him through a very rough time. Unlike anyone else, he paced while talking about his experience while his hands flung about wildly gesticulating his nail-bitingly intense tale. When he got to the part about him slipping down a path and injuring his leg, he gave a small laugh before telling of his screw-up. His eyes squinted a bit as if he was remembering the feeling in his ankle as he lay injured a mile into the trail but still stood tall, cockily putting his thumbs underneath his backpack straps as if they were suspenders.
Explanation II
Descriptive adverbs: "cockily," "nail-bitingly"
Made-up word: "nail-bitingly"
Simile: "as if they were suspenders"
Presentation III: Bonet
"I'm shaking!" Bonet laughed a bit as she told me before going up to the stage. Despite her somewhat frazzled nerves and the sadness of her story she smiled at the audience and never looked down. Her two masks were tangled together as she held them and showed how you would wear them. Her face darkened as she explained how as a kid she would seek attention for being sick to the point where she would like about it. Her "The Girl Who Cried Sick" tale increased in sadness as she told, for most likely the first time, the whole story behind her medical history the past year. She explained with sadness in her voice and eyes how she had to lie to people about her ailments. Her words seemed to come out in a rush, like they were a burden she was lifting off of her heart.
Explanation III
Metaphor: "like they were a burden"
I'm not sure what to classify this under: "'The Girl Who Cried Sick' tale"
Descriptive phrases "words seemed to come out in a rush," "face darkened," "burden she was lifting"
Monday, February 21, 2011
Accidental Lessons
1. Did improv at my old school
2. Went to a course on marine biology at the Minnesota Zoo
3. Did choir since sixth grade
4. Played soccer in middle school
5. Took Spanish for three years
6. Attempted to be friends with people I don’t like
7. Built tree forts throughout grade school
8. Read Harry Potter
9. Played ultimate Frisbee almost every day possible with my friends at my old school
10. Invested myself in the theater at my old school
A. Some people are ignorant and immovable
B. Clingy people are hard to ditch
C. I just might be a ninja
D. Just because I like to do something doesn’t mean I’m going to like other people that like to do the same thing
E. Vegetarians scare me
F. Guys are more fun than girls
G. A teacher can be one of your best friends
H. There are stupid people and stupid questions, no matter what anyone says
I. Yo no hablo espanol buena
J. The British are awesome
Answers: 1G, 2E, 3D, 4A, 5I (that was kinda a freebie), 6B, 7F, 8J, 9C, 10H
Lessons I learned by attempting to be friends with people I don’t like:
1. Clingy people are hard to ditch- So this is a “No duh” but at the time I hadn’t really experienced the... Suzie (I changed her name on the off-chance that she somehow finds this). Suzie was a year younger than me and also in choir. She was moody, pseudo-emo, an attention whore, gloomy, and really whiny. She would repeatedly say something like “If I died no one would come to my funeral.” Being the sweet, innocent 15 year old that I was I had never come across a person like Suzie before. Concerned, I reassured her that I was her friend (we did sit next to each other in choir after all) and that many people liked her. Liking this response, Suzie proceeded to repeat such phrasings as often as possible. She also refused to listen when she asked for advice in choir and I replied, and she would often huff and pretend she was crying and hiding it behind her short hair. After a while I stopped responding to her attempts to fish for compliments, told her frankly what I thought of her (which was nothing happy) and switched spots in choir. She persisted. I switched schools (for more than just that reason). It was a good move.
2. Mutual hatred can lead to great friendships... but not usually- Third grade recess was a battleground. Every day two teams built forts in the woods and attempted to sabotage the other. The teams were clear, defined, and an ancient ritual. Boys vs. Girls. I broke the ritual. I sided with the boys. I was unafraid of the woods, cuts, bruises, yelling guys, mud, and insects. I was an ideal candidate for joining the boy’s side. Almost all accepted me with open arms and I quickly went up in the ranks but one was particular hellbent against “putting the girl in her place.” His name was Bartie (again, changed). Bartie would jeer at me, degrade my my ideas, and push me into the snow. He tried to find followers for his Anti-Anna campaign but he was rejected by all the other guys. After a little while I really tried to connect to him, and it went about kind of like this:
Anna: Hi Artie
Bartie:...
Anna: I like Hotweels
Bartie: *throws snowball*
After multiple years of trying to befriend him he came at me again and again, sometimes hitting or pinching me and calling me names. I learned to loathe him as he loathed me. Then I went to a different high school as him and discovered Suzie.
3. Killing with kindness is effective and fun- I played in the band at my middle school. We really stretched the word band. We had about 12 flutes, 10 percussionists, and an assortment of woodwinds and brasses. The girls were the flutes, the boys the percussionists. Yet another evolution of the classic fort war. Naturally I became a percussionist. Enter Zach (that was actually his name, I just thought it was generic enough to go untouched). Zach was one of the “new kids” and had bleached blond hair. Not to mention a stone cold heart and a mean disposition. Zach would tease me because I was a girl, and when I outplayed him he would complain to his friends that I was mean and call me a show-off. He had two favorite instruments: Anna’s head and snare drum (in that order). He would often pass the time banging beats out on my skull and since the percussionists were pushed to the back due to our general noisiness the director never saw. What’s more she ignored my claims because I couldn’t prove it. I turned to one of my dear friends Breanna and asked her how to get rid of the problem. “Kill him with kindness” was her response. I took it into mind. The next time he handed me the cymbals even though it was my turn to do the snare I would thank him with a smile and a nod. When he would practice on my head I would tap along. When he yelled at me I smiled at him and thanked him for his insight. Not only did this work (he left me alone after a week of such treatment) but it was the most fun I had in band. Every time I put the theory into practice I could see the cogs turning behind his head as he attempted to anger me. When it didn’t work he looked like he was going to foam at the mouth. It was his turn to complain to the director but have her do nothing. I never saw Zach again after our middle school graduation and my cranium thanks me frequently.
4. When in doubt, turn to Mom and Dad- Every year during grade school towards the end of the year there would be a huge party at the local roller garden. The whole grade school and their parents would go for a night of bad 90’s music, flashing lights, injuries, pizza, and a miniature (enter correct word here) with very lame prizes that everyone loved. One of these lame prizes was the infamous Buzzer. The Buzzer was a simple prank object: you would wind it up and shake hands with somebody making them feel a vibrating buzz of the toy being triggered. Everyone had a Buzzer, including Bartie (him again!). Bertie was famous for being fast on his rollerblades and ruthless with the Buzzer. A safe haven for me, number 1 on his hit list, was the girl’s bathroom. This worked wonders, I would head for the bathroom and he would give up the chase. Unfortunately, his feeble fourth grade mind came up with a strategy. He pretended to go away until I was in the bathroom, hid by the door, and slapped me with the Buzzer wherever he could reach as I made my inevitable exit. This ended up backfiring on him. As he executed his plan his hand and Buzzer landed squarely on my developing bust (gentlemen, this hurts A LOT). I screamed, ducked back into the bathroom, cried a bit as I heard him call me a wuss, and left ten minutes afterwards. I told my father and mother after the rollerblade party and my dad did something unexpected: he got really angry. Apparently, the offense was beyond what I had originally thought because of where he hit me. My dad actually went over to Bartie’s house, sat down with his parents, and said God knows what. All that I do know of that encounter is Bartie left me alone after that.
5. Not all people that look gross are gross, but most are- In highscool there are different species. There are jocks, tools, nerds, thespians, punks, and other. It goes deeper than that. There are subspecies that form a hierarchy, a sort of system that others achieve to be. Hey, maybe you’re a nerd. You learn to accept that and aspire to become king of the nerds. In high school I was (and still am) a nerd. I was never an old-school nerd (they would play ancient forms of video games like Pong), nor was I a math nerd (AP Calc II by tenth grade). I didn’t fit into a subspecies and therefore tried to adapt into one. There was one boy named Parry (I don’t even remember his real name, I think I repressed it) who was very distinctive. He spent every free moment playing Final Fantasy on one of the school computers, talked very little, and had long hair. We’re talking mid back length. Not only was it oily, but it was... curley. He had ringlets like Shirley Temple but very shiny. Needless to say I had to resist gagging when I saw him. He seemed sort of cool though, I respect Final Fantasy a lot, and he always looked like he was having fun. We made small talk. That was my initial mistake. I later found out that I was the first girl that talked to him at all. After a month of brief and random small talk he asked me to the upcoming school dance, tried to kiss me, and called me sweetie. I vomited a bit in the back of my mouth. Needless to say I rejected him for his lack of class and showering and learned that sometimes, underneath the acne-covered, greasy, nerdy shell there is a even more nerdy greasy acne-covered person. (I love nerds, I do, but I don’t like people that don’t shower and have no class. That’s the moral of this).
2. Went to a course on marine biology at the Minnesota Zoo
3. Did choir since sixth grade
4. Played soccer in middle school
5. Took Spanish for three years
6. Attempted to be friends with people I don’t like
7. Built tree forts throughout grade school
8. Read Harry Potter
9. Played ultimate Frisbee almost every day possible with my friends at my old school
10. Invested myself in the theater at my old school
A. Some people are ignorant and immovable
B. Clingy people are hard to ditch
C. I just might be a ninja
D. Just because I like to do something doesn’t mean I’m going to like other people that like to do the same thing
E. Vegetarians scare me
F. Guys are more fun than girls
G. A teacher can be one of your best friends
H. There are stupid people and stupid questions, no matter what anyone says
I. Yo no hablo espanol buena
J. The British are awesome
Answers: 1G, 2E, 3D, 4A, 5I (that was kinda a freebie), 6B, 7F, 8J, 9C, 10H
Lessons I learned by attempting to be friends with people I don’t like:
1. Clingy people are hard to ditch- So this is a “No duh” but at the time I hadn’t really experienced the... Suzie (I changed her name on the off-chance that she somehow finds this). Suzie was a year younger than me and also in choir. She was moody, pseudo-emo, an attention whore, gloomy, and really whiny. She would repeatedly say something like “If I died no one would come to my funeral.” Being the sweet, innocent 15 year old that I was I had never come across a person like Suzie before. Concerned, I reassured her that I was her friend (we did sit next to each other in choir after all) and that many people liked her. Liking this response, Suzie proceeded to repeat such phrasings as often as possible. She also refused to listen when she asked for advice in choir and I replied, and she would often huff and pretend she was crying and hiding it behind her short hair. After a while I stopped responding to her attempts to fish for compliments, told her frankly what I thought of her (which was nothing happy) and switched spots in choir. She persisted. I switched schools (for more than just that reason). It was a good move.
2. Mutual hatred can lead to great friendships... but not usually- Third grade recess was a battleground. Every day two teams built forts in the woods and attempted to sabotage the other. The teams were clear, defined, and an ancient ritual. Boys vs. Girls. I broke the ritual. I sided with the boys. I was unafraid of the woods, cuts, bruises, yelling guys, mud, and insects. I was an ideal candidate for joining the boy’s side. Almost all accepted me with open arms and I quickly went up in the ranks but one was particular hellbent against “putting the girl in her place.” His name was Bartie (again, changed). Bartie would jeer at me, degrade my my ideas, and push me into the snow. He tried to find followers for his Anti-Anna campaign but he was rejected by all the other guys. After a little while I really tried to connect to him, and it went about kind of like this:
Anna: Hi Artie
Bartie:...
Anna: I like Hotweels
Bartie: *throws snowball*
After multiple years of trying to befriend him he came at me again and again, sometimes hitting or pinching me and calling me names. I learned to loathe him as he loathed me. Then I went to a different high school as him and discovered Suzie.
3. Killing with kindness is effective and fun- I played in the band at my middle school. We really stretched the word band. We had about 12 flutes, 10 percussionists, and an assortment of woodwinds and brasses. The girls were the flutes, the boys the percussionists. Yet another evolution of the classic fort war. Naturally I became a percussionist. Enter Zach (that was actually his name, I just thought it was generic enough to go untouched). Zach was one of the “new kids” and had bleached blond hair. Not to mention a stone cold heart and a mean disposition. Zach would tease me because I was a girl, and when I outplayed him he would complain to his friends that I was mean and call me a show-off. He had two favorite instruments: Anna’s head and snare drum (in that order). He would often pass the time banging beats out on my skull and since the percussionists were pushed to the back due to our general noisiness the director never saw. What’s more she ignored my claims because I couldn’t prove it. I turned to one of my dear friends Breanna and asked her how to get rid of the problem. “Kill him with kindness” was her response. I took it into mind. The next time he handed me the cymbals even though it was my turn to do the snare I would thank him with a smile and a nod. When he would practice on my head I would tap along. When he yelled at me I smiled at him and thanked him for his insight. Not only did this work (he left me alone after a week of such treatment) but it was the most fun I had in band. Every time I put the theory into practice I could see the cogs turning behind his head as he attempted to anger me. When it didn’t work he looked like he was going to foam at the mouth. It was his turn to complain to the director but have her do nothing. I never saw Zach again after our middle school graduation and my cranium thanks me frequently.
4. When in doubt, turn to Mom and Dad- Every year during grade school towards the end of the year there would be a huge party at the local roller garden. The whole grade school and their parents would go for a night of bad 90’s music, flashing lights, injuries, pizza, and a miniature (enter correct word here) with very lame prizes that everyone loved. One of these lame prizes was the infamous Buzzer. The Buzzer was a simple prank object: you would wind it up and shake hands with somebody making them feel a vibrating buzz of the toy being triggered. Everyone had a Buzzer, including Bartie (him again!). Bertie was famous for being fast on his rollerblades and ruthless with the Buzzer. A safe haven for me, number 1 on his hit list, was the girl’s bathroom. This worked wonders, I would head for the bathroom and he would give up the chase. Unfortunately, his feeble fourth grade mind came up with a strategy. He pretended to go away until I was in the bathroom, hid by the door, and slapped me with the Buzzer wherever he could reach as I made my inevitable exit. This ended up backfiring on him. As he executed his plan his hand and Buzzer landed squarely on my developing bust (gentlemen, this hurts A LOT). I screamed, ducked back into the bathroom, cried a bit as I heard him call me a wuss, and left ten minutes afterwards. I told my father and mother after the rollerblade party and my dad did something unexpected: he got really angry. Apparently, the offense was beyond what I had originally thought because of where he hit me. My dad actually went over to Bartie’s house, sat down with his parents, and said God knows what. All that I do know of that encounter is Bartie left me alone after that.
5. Not all people that look gross are gross, but most are- In highscool there are different species. There are jocks, tools, nerds, thespians, punks, and other. It goes deeper than that. There are subspecies that form a hierarchy, a sort of system that others achieve to be. Hey, maybe you’re a nerd. You learn to accept that and aspire to become king of the nerds. In high school I was (and still am) a nerd. I was never an old-school nerd (they would play ancient forms of video games like Pong), nor was I a math nerd (AP Calc II by tenth grade). I didn’t fit into a subspecies and therefore tried to adapt into one. There was one boy named Parry (I don’t even remember his real name, I think I repressed it) who was very distinctive. He spent every free moment playing Final Fantasy on one of the school computers, talked very little, and had long hair. We’re talking mid back length. Not only was it oily, but it was... curley. He had ringlets like Shirley Temple but very shiny. Needless to say I had to resist gagging when I saw him. He seemed sort of cool though, I respect Final Fantasy a lot, and he always looked like he was having fun. We made small talk. That was my initial mistake. I later found out that I was the first girl that talked to him at all. After a month of brief and random small talk he asked me to the upcoming school dance, tried to kiss me, and called me sweetie. I vomited a bit in the back of my mouth. Needless to say I rejected him for his lack of class and showering and learned that sometimes, underneath the acne-covered, greasy, nerdy shell there is a even more nerdy greasy acne-covered person. (I love nerds, I do, but I don’t like people that don’t shower and have no class. That’s the moral of this).
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Best Picture 2010 Ranking
- True Grit
- Somewhat hard to understand on occasions
- Down-to-earth
- Compelling
- Cool opening
- Maggie (character and actor) is amazing
- Toy Story 3
- Picked up where the other two left off despite sizable time gap
- Somewhat funny, but jokes feel reused
- Good animation (as expected from Pixar)
- Not really deserving of a nomination, felt simple
- Intense, scary moment near the end
- The King's Speech
- Something my mom would like, but I like it too
- Colin Firth is excellent and very believable
- Had sweet as well as intense moments
- Good insight into the English culture at the time (both the aristocrats and the regular people)
- Inception
- Creative storyline
- Made me dizzy at times
- Complicated story, yet easy to follow
- Had an "Aha!" moment at the end
- Winter's Bone
- Ree is an excellent character
- Draws you in
- Slow at first, but you stay to see the ending
- The Social Network
- Witty
- Serious at times
- Overdid the whole "college life" aspect
- Good music that adds to the current feelings of the scene
- Good editing and flow, despite sounding choppy if you try to explain it
- Very current
Your first impression of the main character and creator of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, is very informative. He is obviously intelligent to an extreme level, but has no personal skills. The script is so wordy and Jesse Eisenberg (Mark) delivers it so fast that you feel like your brain is processing a sentence behind what you're hearing. This sounds somewhat off-putting, but is a very good way to represent the character. He intentionally leaves the audience behind because that's the general experience of Mark Zuckerberg.
Another noticeable thing that leaves you in the dust at first is the storyline. It is constantly going back and forth from the current (or at least in terms of the movie timeline) meeting between Zuckerberg, the Winklevoss twins, Eduardo Saverin, and all their lawyers discussing the rights of Facebook. All the other scenes you're back in time seeing the event that is currently being discussed in the meeting. You don't realize this at first since it's so smooth yet sudden, another one of the appealing things about this movie. It is in no way soft, like "The King's Speech" or "Winter's Bone," where there is light music and not a lot of sudden cuts, yet it still retains an aspect of smoothness. This combination is very hard to come by but very cool to see.
Intentionally disorienting and confusing but interesting and addicting, "The Social Network" earns its place on the list through stellar editing, ambiance, acting, and an excellent story. This is the movie that captivates the year 2010 and shows off unbelievably good movie qualities. I don't expect it to win (unfortunately, though I'm sure it's very good, "Black Swan" seems to be the winner) but this is the best in my mind.
The King's Speech- My mother often rents some movie based off of novels by Charles Dickens or the like and drags me downstairs to watch them. They have this certain feel (if you look beyond the boredom) that to me is very English. "The King's Speech" had this feel, yet was very interesting to me. I'm not positive about what the difference is between this movie and other more "Dickens" ones, but this was able to hold my attention and intrigue me.
One of the factors, without a doubt, was Colin Firth. Playing King George VI (or Bertie according to close family and friends) Colin does an amazing job capturing the character's struggles and burdens. This poor man, once a mostly unseen and silent second prince of England, suddenly becomes England's King after his father dies and his brother marries an American divorcee. The movie captivates Bertie's struggle with attempting to overcome a stutter he's had almost his whole life in time to give his speeches, of which many are ahead considering the looming threat of Germany and the soon-to-be second world war.
Helena Bonham Carter was another reason this movie captivated me, but not for her acting (although it was very good.) No, I simply expected her to pull out a crooked wand with a sneer on her face and start cursing and killing muggles.
Geoffrey Rush was also superb. Playing the speech therapist Lionel (who isn't actually a doctor) that helps Bertie through his recovery and all the speeches, Rush embodies the witty, sometimes sassy, but practical nature that some British seem to embody. In many ways he reminded me of a lesser-knowing Doctor Who. He uses methods that, at the time, were considered stupid (yet today are the same ones current speech coaches use to help people get over a stutter) but work without question. Even Bertie has a hard time believing that what Lionel was saying was working and often argues with Lionel, occasionally breaking off their acquaintance. Lionel is ever patient though, and forgives Bertie no matter what. They become true friends over time.
I find that the best parts of this movie was the characters and the actors. The story was interesting, but somewhat mildly. The setting was pretty, but a bit dreary. There was nothing really remarkable about any of the other aspects, they were just good. The reason why this movie is second on my list is simply because the good aspects (acting and actors) were very very good. By far the best when comparing all the other movies (including "The Social Network" too) If the other aspects were up to par then the number one spot would easily go to "The King's Speech" but alas it falls short on levels beyond the acting.
Winter's Bone- A tale of drugs, the Ozarks, and family, "Winter's Bone" brings two refreshing aspects to the typical movie with drugs in a family, and both have to do with the main character Ree. She is truly the centerpiece of the movie, the cornerstone if you will. Without that exact character the movie would crumble.
The first refreshing aspect Ree brings to the table is a very simply one: she is not a druggie. She understands the world of drugs, and understands that her family is deeply rooted in it, yet she never partakes, most likely due to her exposure. She also doesn't run to the cops and tell them about her drug making family which is atypical of a character similar to her in other movies. She's not a wishy-washy helpless vulnerable addict that works to get her next fix but a girl that fights for what she rightly deserves.
The second aspect is that the movie has a somewhat positive outlook on family. True, at times her family betrays her, turns their back when she's in need, beats her up, and makes her hold her dead father's hands while they saw them off but they honestly have her best interests in mind. They think that what they are doing is what they need to do for her. If the popular phrase "it's the thought that counts" is true then Ree's family is very kind to her. This is harder to see since they're going about it in all the wrong ways, you have to dig deep to see this. It is especially evident when you look at Teardrop, another amazing actor and character.
The main message of this movie is strength in the face of adversity, and the bond of family, even a drug producing mean Ozark family. It shows how the US can really vary from place to place and in social classes. Those that say this is an anti-drug movie are sorely mistaken. This is a family movie (as in a movie about family, not a movie you would see with your family). The seemingly harsh and downcast light on drugs that some perceive is nonexistent, it is simply an honest light.
"Winter's Bone" was amazing in all aspects and stellar when it came to Ree and writing. It fell short to "The Social Network" because of it's ambling pace that occasionally got on my nerves and "The King's Speech" because no performance could top that of Colin Firth. Still, "Winter's Bone" clearly deserves its nomination and all the prestige and recognition it should and most likely will receive.
True Grit- Ahh, the classic western, except for not at all. True Grit incorporated many western feelings, but overall it lacked the original charm of the older westerns. It does make for a better story when you dig into it because it is more deep than some of the other old time westerns, but it looses something in the process.
The first thing I noticed about True Grit was the brilliant opening scene. There are way too many qualities in just that single scene to list but some things stood out more than others. Mainly, the unfocused lens and the long zooming shot. The blob of almost fire-like light is your first visual in the film. It gives you a feeling of flames, but not like a raging house fire. No, a feeling of a warm fire in a house or a bonfire out in the range, a homey but wild comforting feeling. As the scene goes on it slowly focuses on the house and reinforces the feeling of family. Toward the end of the scene you notice the corpse, and then the runaway criminal interrupts the still image with a quick getaway on a stolen horse.
If the whole movie lived up to the first scene in all aspects then my following complaints would seem like irrelevant dribble. Unfortunately, I found a few things wrong with this movie. The main thing was (and I really hate to say this) Jeff Bridges. I really love Bridges, but not in this movie, although my experience of his acting might have been increasingly interfered by classroom noises including jocks chatting behind me and the kid in front of me constantly sticking his fingers into the guinea pig cage. The main issue I found with Bridges, actually the only issue, was his dialogue. I honestly understood very little of what he said. This was due to his rough voice (which I happen to love, don't get me wrong) his periodic southern drawl and his constant state of inebriation. I think he mumbled a bit too. Either way, it sounded like the words were filtered through water and a cement wall before they reached my ears. I understand he's trying to be accurate, and he was indeed that, but inaccuracy and understanding would have been a more pleasing alternative.
Enough of the negative. True, I didn't really understand what was happening most of the time, but other factors of the film were simply amazing. The shining star of this film was Maddie. She was tough, brave, had true grit, and was a stellar character. The writing wasn't enough though, the actress they had to choose had to be just as good. They found one better. The true lead in the movie, Hailee Steinfeld, is superb. She portrayed the character above and beyond the script and screenplay set out for her. I also appreciated her clear and crisp voice, it made good contrast.
The unintelligible voice of Jeff Bridges unfortunately bogged this movie down the ranks a lot. Even though it's the fourth there is a wide space between "Winter's Bone" and "True Grit." Speaking of true grit, we should take a moment to acknowledge the character with the most true grit in the movie: Blackie. Blackie's death shook me more than Rooster's did, but I can understand shooting him to put him out of his misery. Blackie died a noble death and lived a noble life. We shall miss him terribly. RIP Blackie, RIP.
Inception- Delving into dreams, the most basic and honest form of the human psyche. The creativity of this film seemed like the widow's oil. It flowed in an endless refreshing stream that pulled you in. After a while you were lost in the flow and just sat in amazement. This is my favorite movie on the list, though "The Social Network" is a very close second.
So why does this movie occupy the fifth spot on my Oscar list you ask? For a very simple reason: it just isn't up to snuff. Actually, its originality of the story line is all it has going for. The special effects are spectacular and it is a very visually pleasing movie (though at the theaters I got a bit dizzy as the hotel was spinning around and around). The actors do a good job, mainly Ellen Paige (that's for you Seth) who puts on another noteworthy performance after her role in "Juno." I wanted her totem to be a hamburger phone.
So what do we have? Special effects? No movie should hinge on just that, so we'll throw that out. Creativity? A very important factor, and this movie outshines the rest by far in this category, which is enough to land it a nomination but not enough to have it be close to winning. All other aspects, like cinematography, lighting, other acting, music, were all very well and good, better than most, but "Inception" simply doesn't have what it takes to be a Best Picture winner. At least it outshines the bottom movie by a significant amount.
Toy Story 3- Ironically, I found three major things wrong with "Toy Story Three." Don't get me wrong, I own every Disney/Pixar film ever made and I absolutely love them (this movie included) but it isn't Best Picture worthy, not by a long shot. It's a cutsie story and is excellent at picking up where the other two left off as if no time had passed. It's also a good family movies with good values and funny moments.
I can't avoid this any longer. The first thing that I found wrong with this movie: the fiery suspenseful "oh my god all the toys are gonna melt in a molten plastic hell" moment was just stupid. The moment, and the climax of the movie, occurs at a garbage dump. Our heroes the band of toys lead by Buzz and Woody avoid being crushed, chopped, mulched, and pressed only to fall into the room of doom: the melting room. They then accept their fate, hold hands, and close their eyes to await their doom (only to be saved at the last second of course, we can't have toys die, only leave for another house). This was overdone, unnecessary, and just a bad move. The climatic moment could have occurred at any other place on the assembly line of horrors and reshaping and the effect would have been better. This unnecessarily scared the target audience and made my usually mild mannered cousin say "what the hell?"
The second issue is that it's not a deep story at all. It's very simple and superficial, which is all fine and well, but not for a nominee of this stature. The whole Andy growing up storyline I like since my age is consistent with Andy's and I could relate. (I really am dreading picking what Beanie Babies to take to college, my mom says I can only take two). There isn't anything deeper, no sense of another, more underlying plot. It was straightforward, predictable, and simple. In other words, it was a movie geared toward children.
Finally, the third strike against "Toy Story 3" is that it brings nothing to the table other than the stellar animation. Like usual, Pixar is able to make amazing animation look realistic while still giving it that animated feel and look, a very important element. This movie is just another blip on the radar and was added just so the Academy wouldn't get reamed for only having movies with inappropriate content for children in them. It is an undeserving, somewhat overrated film, but a good movie. I would encourage people to watch it, but not as a deep work of art. It is a whimsical fun story, a simple happiness, and trying to push it farther just makes you feel disappointed.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Genius Conversation AKA conversing with a Bakeneko can be hella annoying
Ryuuji: Search yourself, you will find the answer.
Anna: I haven't asked anything yet.
Ryuuji: Like the cherry blossems, you will bloom when you're time comes.
Anna: Are you quite finished?
Ryuuji: Your lucky numbers are: 42 76 9 23 11
Anna: YOU ARE NOT A FORTUNE COOKIE!
Ryuuji: Fine, fine. Ask what you wish, but I make no garuntees.
Anna: I need to think of a good, life-changing conversation to talk about. It needs to be one I remember distinctly.
Ryuuji: It is a wise father that knows his own child.
Anna: Shakespeaer. No, I've had so many meaningful conversations with my dad that I'm afraid they might all blur together.
Ryuuji: All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.
Anna: Abraham Lincoln, and same reason as above.
Ryuuji: A grandma's name is little less in love than is the doting title of a mother.
Anna: Shakespeare again, and let's break away from family. That's too easy.
Ryuuji: The purpose of psychology is to give us a completely different idea of the things we know best
Anna: You know I don't believe in psychology.
Ryuuji: Ha, didn't know the quote.
Anna: Paul Varely. Nice try though, that was pretty obscure.
Ryuuji: ... so's your mom.
Anna: You are a shapeshifting immortal spiritual being, and all you can say is "so's your mom?" I am dissapoint.
Ryuuji: Quiet you. I have one last quote. It is not a case we are treating; it is a living, palpitating, alas, too often suffering fellow creature.
Anna: John Brown, very nice. So my memorable conversation with the doctor with the last name I still can't pronounce? That might just be it.
Ryuuji: Satasfied? You should be. My intellect is nothing to scoff at.
Anna: Your intellect? You quoted other people almost the whole time!
Ryuuji: Goodbye, foolish mortal. I shall now take my 100 year rest.
Anna: Don't blow my comment off! And you know you'll be back soon, you get bored too fast.
Ryuuji: ...
Anna: Oh just leave.
Anna: I haven't asked anything yet.
Ryuuji: Like the cherry blossems, you will bloom when you're time comes.
Anna: Are you quite finished?
Ryuuji: Your lucky numbers are: 42 76 9 23 11
Anna: YOU ARE NOT A FORTUNE COOKIE!
Ryuuji: Fine, fine. Ask what you wish, but I make no garuntees.
Anna: I need to think of a good, life-changing conversation to talk about. It needs to be one I remember distinctly.
Ryuuji: It is a wise father that knows his own child.
Anna: Shakespeaer. No, I've had so many meaningful conversations with my dad that I'm afraid they might all blur together.
Ryuuji: All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.
Anna: Abraham Lincoln, and same reason as above.
Ryuuji: A grandma's name is little less in love than is the doting title of a mother.
Anna: Shakespeare again, and let's break away from family. That's too easy.
Ryuuji: The purpose of psychology is to give us a completely different idea of the things we know best
Anna: You know I don't believe in psychology.
Ryuuji: Ha, didn't know the quote.
Anna: Paul Varely. Nice try though, that was pretty obscure.
Ryuuji: ... so's your mom.
Anna: You are a shapeshifting immortal spiritual being, and all you can say is "so's your mom?" I am dissapoint.
Ryuuji: Quiet you. I have one last quote. It is not a case we are treating; it is a living, palpitating, alas, too often suffering fellow creature.
Anna: John Brown, very nice. So my memorable conversation with the doctor with the last name I still can't pronounce? That might just be it.
Ryuuji: Satasfied? You should be. My intellect is nothing to scoff at.
Anna: Your intellect? You quoted other people almost the whole time!
Ryuuji: Goodbye, foolish mortal. I shall now take my 100 year rest.
Anna: Don't blow my comment off! And you know you'll be back soon, you get bored too fast.
Ryuuji: ...
Anna: Oh just leave.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
My First Movie Review
Movie: Serenity
Brainstorming
Brainstorming
- Continuation of the original series (The director Joss Whedon wanted it to be like the season two)
- Compelling storyline
- Challenges what you originally thought about the characters
- Summer Glau (‘nuff said)
- Probably the only futuristic scifi space western. And if it isn’t the only one, it is for sure the best.
- Showcases the possibilities when people are desperately trying to simply survive
- Quirky and funny, but serious when need be
- The fight choreography is brilliant
- Displays the rougher, but not necessarily the uglier or worse, side of humanity
- Should only be watched after viewing the series Firefly
- Yes, they’re in space, but there are no aliens, just people
- Sad but satisfying ending
- Fruity Oaty Bar song makes me laugh
- "She is fine! Except for still being crazy! She's the picture of health."
- As expected, the banter is witty
Review of "Serenity"
"Serenity" is actually a continuation of a TV series titled "Firefly". "Firefly" is about nine people traveling through space looking for work and money. Even though it takes place in the year 2517, the basic struggles of humanity are present. There is poverty, hunger, disease, corrupt government, wars, and all other nitty-gritty aspects of society. These nine people, from different backgrounds, different walks of life, and even different planets all find each other on a spaceship simply looking for money and refuge. Each character has their own story behind them, their own quirky personality, and their own demons to battle.
The show "Firefly" by Joss Whedon (also known for Buffy the Vampyre Slayer) is unique in many ways. One is that it's the only futuristic scifi space western in the history of forever. Second, it is one of the only shows that takes place in space WITHOUT aliens or alien lifeforms. Third, the show was cancelled after only 14 episodes, putting it in the same category as "Arrested Development": amazing show cut short.
The film "Serenity" was Joss Whedon's chance to create a second season and end with more character resolution, and he delivered. The movie was filmed years after the series was cancelled, but the actors perform perfectly. The series flows into the movie so perfectly that it is impossible to tell that they were shot years apart.
Is this review rather vague? Why yes indeed. I hate spoilers, and love discovery. Discover this show for yourself. http://www.hulu.com/firefly
Creative Me
If a movie were made of my life, the big scene would be when I was first told I could get completely healthy for the first time since falling sick.
The actor that would play me in the movie would for sure be Emma Wattson, merely because I would love to meet her. I also want to meet Hugh Laurie, but I have a feeling he would make an ugly woman. The facial hair would throw the audience off too.
The title of the movie would be impossible for me to determine. I am a fan of titling complete works, and I’m not dead yet.
If I were an animal, I would be Gojira. I would lord over Tokyo and smash (or eat) anything that I don’t like.
If I were forced to perform in a talent show, my talent would be lion taming. No doubt.
If I had to choose a pseudonym, my new name would be O. Ezra K.
The song currently stuck in my head is The Con by Tegan and Sara. If you haven’t heard this song, change that.
If a modern, abstract artist painted me, he/she would paint me as a pillow. Being a pillow would be awesome.
If I could have dinner with a fictional character or famous person, it would be Hagrid. I want a dragon too.
If my favorite childhood toy came to life and got interviewed by Oprah it would say the following thing about me: “Arf arf arf arf arf arf growl,” for it would be a Beanie Baby dog. Why Oprah would interview a dog is beyond me.
The actor that would play me in the movie would for sure be Emma Wattson, merely because I would love to meet her. I also want to meet Hugh Laurie, but I have a feeling he would make an ugly woman. The facial hair would throw the audience off too.
The title of the movie would be impossible for me to determine. I am a fan of titling complete works, and I’m not dead yet.
If I were an animal, I would be Gojira. I would lord over Tokyo and smash (or eat) anything that I don’t like.
If I were forced to perform in a talent show, my talent would be lion taming. No doubt.
If I had to choose a pseudonym, my new name would be O. Ezra K.
The song currently stuck in my head is The Con by Tegan and Sara. If you haven’t heard this song, change that.
If a modern, abstract artist painted me, he/she would paint me as a pillow. Being a pillow would be awesome.
If I could have dinner with a fictional character or famous person, it would be Hagrid. I want a dragon too.
If my favorite childhood toy came to life and got interviewed by Oprah it would say the following thing about me: “Arf arf arf arf arf arf growl,” for it would be a Beanie Baby dog. Why Oprah would interview a dog is beyond me.
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